The New Year is a powerful time to reflect on the past, remember inner commitments and create new ones. It is easier to think of past successes but it can take some self compassion when reviewing how we have missed the mark. How can we step up more into the potential of what is important. The last years have let us know that time is precious. What is your call to action? How have you been stepping into to that?
As you step into the doorway of the new year, What do you choose to leave at the gate? What old habits do you want to let go of? What new dreams do you want to bring in? It may be a time to take inventory..
What stands in the way of what makes you feel most alive?
A look at Inner Resistance
What is it that switches on the new behavior? Its addressing whatever is standing in the way. Changing behavior is more nuanced than just writing down a new choice. It can be responding to why the old behavior maybe so comforting..
On one hand .... but on the other Hand
One part wants to turn on that invisible switch that activates the new behavior. Another part wants to keep the comforting behavior.
What does the resistant part really need? That part may be in freeze state or feel its easier not to try and fail than to make a call or book a workshop. Once we consciously know what that part needs, we can respond to just that.
what if it is to Curl up and stay in bed?. Listen to this part and offer designated times to do exactly that. The key is to bring in focused awareness to what you are doing and designate time to listen. This is the time for somatic and emotional awareness. A time to sharpen emotional literacy. This is the time to hold that part with compassion and even talk to the part like a child. Take a book a curl up in cozy pajamas. Watch movies, choose comforting healthier foods. Even find recipes that celebrate your inner needs. It's not about the Cookie. Its about how you feel about eating the cookie. Do you celebrate that cookie? or it is covering up a need? Knowing about this this tug of war is the first step in understanding behavioral impulses. It is necessary to bring care this part again and again, and check to see if that part really feels cared for. It takes patience, self compassion, and some processing to unpack what gets in our way.
Below is a process to get to the bottom of inner needs and address resistance
1. Place your hands in front of you.
2. Assign one hand with a goal or aspiration for the new year.
3. Designate the other hand to be what ever is getting in the way.
4. Ask how this habit serves
5. Ask the second hand what it needs.
6. Ask that hand what it REALLY needs
7 Reflect on some healthier ways to meet those needs
7. Ask what would happen if those needs were met.
8. What is the new action you may take instead.
9. Continue a dialog if needed
10. Listen to what the inspired hand is saying, receive instruction.
10. Repeat as needed, again and again. This is not just a one time process.
This reflection can also be done through journaling. Using the dominant hand to ask the question and the non dominate and to respond.
Meeting in the middle
Now, inner needs are understood. it is possible to meet in the middle. Now notice that when you are ready to commit, an invisible switch goes on? The question is: What needs to happen to turn on that switch? What is the motivation? There is a driving force within us, that connects us to ourselves: Our inner guide, higher self, over self, our inner witness.
There are many names for the inner voice that knows what we need. If you listen carefully to that voice you can receive direction. You can receive guidance on what foods are good to eat, how your body wants to move and what people are good to hang out with. You know. Notice the positive reinforcement that happens when you tap into that inspiration. When you show up for yourself, you feel good about yourself. It is that loop the brings self trust. Listening to that inner voice is connected to being in the flow of life. Being in your fullest vibrancy. Write a love letter to yourself. Keeping agreements with yourself creates a becomes the new feel good state. Self trust creates true joy.
Is it time for a shift of awareness? What do you want to bring into the new year?